Beginnings.

The best thing about a beginning is the fresh, gleaming chance to look at something completely anew. To study it. Roll it around. Unearth a trove of thoughts. Adjust and fix and mold.

I was becoming stale at my job. After six years, my mind felt lazy. Tasks were too easy and I wasn't growing.  Without a challenge, I was bored and unhappy. As someone who has built an identity and purpose around hard work, study and learning, many of my worst fears were being realized daily. 

Lost in my own identity struggle, I can't be sure that I was setting the example I believe in. That is one of coaching, knowledge sharing, excellence and dependability. 

Its funny that one of my saddest moments in recent history was when I was promoted to a Vice President. Everything I thought I wanted -- a good salary and title -- turned out to mean so little to me when I realized that I didn't value and care about the work I was doing. I spent six years working for an incredible company, but striving for something that wouldn't fill holes. 

I believe that many of my contemporaries feel a similar stress: to constantly be achieving and moving up. Reflecting now, I see that in many ways, I mis-channeled that drive. I was so focused on achieving, that I often lost sight of the path and the experience.

I missed a few too many homemade dinners from my brother. I cared a little too much about getting promoted every year, instead of finding work that was meaningful to me. I spent too much time in a cube. I neglected my personal life and my health too often. I spent too much time on a computer and a smartphone. 

I'm only a week into a new job, so I can't say I have everything figured out. But there is such a weight lifted from making a decision to do things differently than I have been. To focus on work that I can care about and a company I believe in. To stop worrying about promotions and do the best job I can possibly can every single day. To set boundaries for work, so that I am working to live and not the other way around. 

Here I am. Beginning again.

On Pismo Beach with Mom

Just over two weeks ago, my mom came to San Francisco for several days. I'm so lucky to have family and friends visit all the time, it makes the five hour separation more bearable. My brother and I always say, at the end of the day, we're all we have.

I had such a relaxing few days with Mom. She's so easy to travel with and we both love to lie in the sun for hours, swim or go for walks on the beach. It's funny, in high school, I found myself always hoping I'd be very different, but now, I find more pleasant similarities then I would have thought.

I made one big life decision on this trip. I want to live somewhere warm year-round. Where I can wake up and see the sun and walk on the beach and sail on my sailboat. This decision is something nice to hold onto, a nice vision of the future, since I often feel adrift in my career choice.

My three days with mom were such a healthy, needed change of pace. I know I'll come back to the memory of us chatting on the balcony overlooking the sunset often.

Snow, Glad and Young

I spent the past weekend with my brother and work team in Lake Tahoe. We drove up on Thursday evening to a host of delightful errors, including almost running out of gas at 1 a.m. On Friday, my brother and I skied in blizzard conditions and came back to an afternoon of fun and silliness with the team. I'll never forget the hour Chris and I spent skiing down to the cabin, completely alone in the quiet, stillness and snow. Even on skis, the snow was far past our knees.

The moment reminded me of an afternoon when Chris and I were little. We went walking in the snow in upstate New York with my dad and saw deer sleeping on the white powdery blanket. I had the same sense of quietude and wonder.

We should all be so lucky to experience such fun, beauty and youth. The weekend brought to mind one of my favorite poems by e.e. cummings "you shall above all things be glad and young."

you shall above all things be glad and young.
For if you’re young, whatever life you wear

it will become you; and if you are glad
whatever’s living will yourself become
Girlboys may nothing more than boygirls need:
i can entirely her only love

whose any mystery makes every man’s
flesh put space on;and his mind take off time

that you should ever think,may god forbid
and(in his mercy)your true lover spare:
for that way knowledge lies,the foetal grave
called progress,and negation’s dead undoom.

I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance

ee cummings (1894 - 1962)

Six Months In San Francisco

My last six months seem to have disappeared into the San Francisco fog. Somewhere between weekend ski trips, Saturday sailing and a hefty work schedule, I've managed to find a home on California Street.

It hasn't always been easy. A car accident, a significant commuting schedule, a steep Muni ticket, no washer/dryer and a furnace determined to be my enemy have complicated my hereto comfy lifestyle. For the first time, I've had to make some difficult business decisions, ones that won't make me popular, but are the best for my company. I've also struggled with finding a balance between the significant amount of responsibility I've been given at work and building a personal life outside of it.

On the other hand, I can't believe how lucky I am to live here! I've made some truly fantastic friends. I spend every weekend sailing on the bay or skiing in Tahoe. In the past month, I've skied at Sierra and Northstar, eaten at my first buffet in Reno, had delicious food at Sons & Daughters, ate a picnic at the Golden Gate bridge with my dad, been to Pismo beach for a weekend with my mom -- and those are just the highlights!

I have a feeling I'll look back on these six months and say this was an incredible learning period in every way imaginable. Here's to another six more, and hopefully, a slightly better documented period.

One Month in San Francisco

As my mom would say, "Jenna, you haven't written a new blog in forever."

I've officially been living in San Francisco for six weeks and its been a whirlwind to say the least. Between working from three different offices (San Francisco, San Mateo and my client's office in San Jose) a trip to LA, a trip to Vegas, five visitors, day trips to Napa, Santa Cruz and Hog Island Oyster Farm -- I can honestly say, I've never been busier.

I adore California. I knew that when I left DC, I was overdue for a change of pace and city, but I never thought I would fall in love with San Francisco and NorCal so quickly. I'm constantly struck by beauty here. The bay, the ocean, the cliffs, the palm trees, the mountains, even the city is lovely.

There is so much to do and see and I can't wait to experience everything I possibly can here. I've also been lucky enough to have my dad and several of my friends visit already and I've been so touched by everyone who sent welcome cards and their love across the country. I'll try to do a better job documenting all of the new, exciting things to do and see out west.

Thanks to everyone who so sweetly and lovingly supported my move. It was definitely the right choice at this point in my life and I can't wait to see you out here!

Best of DC #1: Inauguration 2009

These posts are in no particular order, just how I remember them and jot them down.

Witnessing history is a misnomer in my opinion, it transpires everyday. Witnessing the promise of change and greatness is something far rarer. Doing so with your brother and your closest friends on a frigid morning at dawn on the National Mall is a once-in-a-lifetime treasure.

I'll never forget sleeping only a few hours and waking up to trek to the National Mall with Chris, Erin and Liz to share a tiny piece of grass with over a million people. Obama's speech and the tangible excitement of the crowd eclipsed the cold and brought me out of what had been a difficult year. If I've ever been more inspired by spoken word, I can't remember it.

Beyond that, it was a full four days of fun including a beautiful inauguration party with all of my friends

at my uncle's house and tickets from Mary to the

Rihanna inauguration after-party.

What a chance. Only in DC.

L'ecume de Washington, DC

After eight years in Washington, DC, I'm packing my bags and heading west to San Francisco. DC is now just about tied with Southern Maryland as my longest residency.

I've lived in three locations in Foggy Bottom, spent four years in my uncle's English basement in Logan Circle and have now inhabited my first solo apartment for three months in Mt. Vernon/Convention Center. I've lived with seven different people, including my brother and not including the cutest dog in the world, Dover.

Eight years later, it feels like home. I know the best places for a drink, a date, a dance, a dog walk, a view, a sail, a run, a pizza...there's not much I haven't done here. I've made more friends then I could possibly have hoped for. I thought that over the next few weeks, as I prepare to leave, I'd recall my favorite DC memories and people and jot them down here. I hope you'll forgive and enjoy my sentimentality.

This will be my best of DC.